Retirement planning has a number of challenges
There are many issues that have the ability to cause real damage to any retirement planning effort. Having no control over our spending habits is a primary issue. A debilitating illness requiring a lengthy treatment or recovery process is another significant hurdle. Certainly a factor having an impact for individuals involved in ministry, missions, or faith based non-profit efforts is an income that is lower than available in the private or government sector. However, one that occurs far more often than we are willing to admit was addressed by Dan Moisand in Financial Advisor Magazine on September 1, 2016. Parents allow their retirements to be wrecked by adult children. You may read his thoughts here.
We must not allow pain to prevent us from addressing the problem
Perhaps this seems a bit painful and personal to address in a blogpost. It is absolutely true that there are extenuating circumstances ignored or uncovered by all such articles or blogs. However, there are many improper or immature actions of adult children that have wrecked retirement plans, because parents failed to handle the situation. Mr. Moisand offered several illustrative situations that occur far too often. It is not our purpose to re-examine those. These bits of wisdom are offered in the hope of limiting their occurrence in the future.
Don’t allow false guilt to control our decisions
False guilt is an incredible family problem Satan brings into the lives of most ministry families. False guilt that our children suffer due to ministry income. False guilt that our children are deprived of a normal life by the expectations imposed upon ministry/non-profit families. When an adult child seeks “an investment” from parents to fund an obviously risky business venture, it is easy for a ministry family to acquiesce. Does this sound plausible, “We were never able to provide the normal opportunities of other parents, the least we can do is help now. We do have the money available in our retirement account, and it IS an investment.” Think clearly! Making a decision based upon false guilt is probably neither wise nor loving.
Avoid a false application of Scripture in handling such requests
We have encountered Scripture being falsely applied in these instances, particularly 1 Timothy 5:8. “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” This is akin to false guilt, but worse! When a child essentially refuses to act responsibly and maintain a job, the normal reaction is to come home. “Mom and Dad will have a place for me.” Of course we love our children and want them to have another opportunity. Providing a hand up is a good and generous thing! However, we must realize that such situations cannot be allowed to continue, because we move from encouraging to enabling. Enabling irresponsibility is not fulfilling Scripture.
Tough love is much tougher to enact
Addressing these situations is awkward. It is awkward to write about them. It is even more awkward for parents to address them. As Mr. Moisand concluded his article, “Having